The Dating Game
by cingee
Summary: Bella Swan never knew dating could be this complicated...
1. Fuck Buddies

**Disclaimer:** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Fuck Buddies**

"What about fuck buddies?"

Bella smacked Jake's head. "NO."

Jake laughed. "It's not so bad, you know. You get pretty much everything! You know you're _safe_, you get an _experienced_ hand, and, most importantly, no emotional garbage. Besides, who wouldn't want to tap this fine piece of meat?" He wiggled his ass at her playfully.

Bella Swan shook her head, trying to decide if she was irritated or amused. "Jake, you've been with so many women how would I know you don't have an STD? And you know you're a lazy fuck in bed, you wouldn't know how to find a clit if it had a corn dog flagging you down. And there is no way in hell I am going to deal with _your_ garbage since we both know you can't fuck a girl more than once."

Jacob thoughtfully cocked his head to one side. After a second, he grinned. "Not true! I fucked Leah Clearwater twice!" He smiled triumphantly.

"Doesn't count. You only did it because you were so drunk you thought she was her cousin." Bella shook her head in disgust. She wondered briefly how she was still friends with this stupid man.

'This stupid man' was Jacob Black, best friend and _gigolo extraordinaire_. They had grown up together and Jake was the one she counted on the most, the one she could trust with her life. He was also a man-whore. He liked pussy and lots of it. He liked experimenting. He liked variety. He liked them big, small, hairy, bald, dark, light, old, young…he loved them all. It was as if he had a mental list called "50 Best Vagina's to Fuck Before You Die". Except that number was exponentially higher. But what he loved most was the chase. In this city of almost 8 million people, the thrill of the hunt never bored him and he was relentless in finding new prospects. In San Francisco, the name Jacob Black was synonymous with sex.

She sometimes wondered if being Jake was easier. He never worried about meeting girls, never got offended when a girl rejected him, and he actually _preferred_ that girls never call him back. And he was always so damn _happy_. The concept of "serial dating", as Jake called it, was so foreign to Bella. She hated dates: they were always awkward and superficial and usually just a precursor to sex. But Bella couldn't bear being intimate with a man she didn't actually love. She had been in love only twice before, or perhaps she had only been in love with the concept of love. The distinction was never really quite clear, and Bella didn't know why it always seemed so complex in her head when it sounded like the simplest thing in the world.

"You're thinking about it, aren't you?" Jake grinned. "Fuck buddies? Eh? _Eh?_"

Bella was annoyed. Jake had wanted to nail her ever since he discovered his penis started doing strange transformations around girls when they were 14. His friends teased him relentlessly about being the last one of their group to have a girl handle his junk. His sister's then-boyfriend, Paul, wasn't an outstanding influence, either. Since Bella was Jake's best friend, it was assumed she would just transition into being his girlfriend, and consequently, sexual experiment. But she was always smarter than Jake, always more mature, and always put more thought into her decisions. And when she thought about the consequences of sex with him, she decided that it wasn't worth the risk. Perhaps it was that first rejection from his best friend, or maybe it was Paul and his friends' relentless teasing, but Jake tossed aside all his romanticized ideas about relationships and set his mind to sleeping with as many girls as he possibly could. By the time he graduated at 18, he had slept with all the girls in the town within a three-year age-gap. Except Bella.

She wouldn't give. She _couldn't_. Her friendship with Jake meant too much to her, to both of them. He would never force himself on her, and she knew he was happy with their relationship just the way it was. Still, he couldn't resist the urge to tease her when she was going through a seriously dry spell.

Not that there were no prospects. Bella was very attractive. She turned heads everywhere she went, with her perfectly coiffed chestnut hair, large striking chocolate brown eyes, sumptuous hips and creamy skin. Looks were never a problem for Bella; the problem was that she was too intimidating. Although Bella had a heart of gold under her tough exterior, she was accustomed to putting up frosty, defensive walls that were ideal in her position as an Editor-in-Chief, but severely detrimental to her dating life. The result was an endless barrage of arrogant, witless men, looking to control a sexy, powerful woman, and Bella would have none of that.

The other problem was that Bella liked to be in love. And Bella liked sex. Bella _loved_ sex. When she found it with someone she cared deeply about, it was extremely satisfying and she found herself to be insatiable. It had been over a year since she had had sex, not counting the disastrous blind date Jake had insisted she go on. It was the first (and last) time Bella had tried to do this casual sex thing that everybody raved about. Laurent was a colleague Jake tried to set her up with, and he was beautiful and knew it. Bella couldn't help but notice that every time he passed a reflection, whether a store window or the back of a spoon, he would eye himself admiringly. Even during their one hasty night, she caught him proudly making fuck faces at himself in the reflection of the picture frame above his bed while he pounded his too-small cock into her too-dry pussy and she screamed fake orgasms just so he would come already and get the whole damn thing over with.

She turned her attention back to Jake, who had, at some point, put some Al Green on the stereo in their shared apartment and was now doing a strange mating dance-slash-Celine Dion fist pump while holding a beer bottle as a microphone. He was sashaying towards her on the couch and unsuccessfully trying wink, instead looking like his right eye had a twitch. Bella knew this game. Girls fell for it left, right and centre. Jake was hot enough to get away with his ridiculous antics, and girls found his playfulness boyish and endearing. Bella also knew that when he needed to turn up his game, he could be very seductive. The reality is that he could sway his hips in the subtlest and sexiest of ways, he could wink effortlessly, and when his voice dropped to a low, husky rumble, Bella had seen women practically come at the first word that passed his lips. Yup, her Jacob was an extraordinary Casanova.

But she couldn't help but laugh and play along and she got up from sulking over broken hearts and one-night stands and she danced with Jake because it felt good to be happy and easy and free with the one person who knew her inside and out. And when she made her way into his strong, familiar arms, she felt comfort and safety, but also a void she couldn't quite put her finger on. She knew she didn't love Jake that way. At least not now. But could she? At some point? Bella didn't know, but she knew that they couldn't mess around with their friendship by complicating it with benefits.

She gently pulled herself away and Jake regretfully let her go.


	2. Girls

**Disclaimer:** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Girls**

It was times like these that Bella wondered what it would be like to have sex with a girl.

She was a little drunk. Maybe a lot of drunk. It was the usual Saturday night with the boys: hanging out at a new tourist bar in Union Square, watching Jake and Sam work the room of college girls on their summer break and knocking back pints with Jared, Embry and Seth.

It had been the six of them for as long as Bella could remember. Growing up in a little butt-fuck-nowhere town like Forks, Washington meant you had a limited selection of friends. Bella considered herself lucky that she didn't end up with the wannabe-rockstar girls of the town. She was the Chief-of-Police's daughter and it always felt natural to be one of the boys; they all considered each other as family.

"Whoa, are those _twins_?" Seth gasped.

Jared laughed. "Don't think so. Probably just cookie-cutter sorority girls. Doesn't look like he's sharing with Jake, either."

"Sam gets all the luck," Embry sighed.

Bella patted him on the back. "They're sluts anyway, Em. You're too good for slutty sorority girls. Even if they do have hot asses. And long-ass legs. And giant melons…"

"Gee, thanks Bells. You always know how to make me feel better."

She cocked her head to one side. "I wonder what it'd be like," she mused.

Seth's eyes bugged out. "What?! That's gross, Bells." He shook his head.

"Oh, so it's okay for you guys to fuck girls but it's not okay for me? Don't be a sexist pig, Seth." The words came out angrier than she intended. It wasn't often that she felt segregated by her sex when she was with the boys; she usually joined in on the banter and girl-watching, often picking out attributes she thought were attractive or dismissive. She was only occasionally a dogmatic feminist, usually when drunk or stoned or on her period. There was always so much testosterone; she had to lash out at times. And she was drunk now, and it seemed appropriate.

"Hey, I'm no chauvinist, but you know what I mean, Bella! You're like my sister, and if I have to think of my sister getting it on with some blonde bombshell, it'll ruin the allure of lesbian porn and threesomes forever." Seth's eyes glazed over at the word 'threesome' and he stuck his lip out. "Please don't ruin that for me! It's like my livelihood. The air I breathe. The first thing I think about in the morning. The last thing I think about at night! The reason for –"

"Jesus, you're pathetic, Seth." Bella knew that this sister-like relationship was the downside to being 'one of the boys'. She raised her hand dismissively, as if waving the topic of conversation away.

Jake strolled over and threw his arm around her. "Wanna be my wingwoman? Sam just bailed with a blonde bimbo from Carolina."

"You don't need a wingwoman, Jake. What about Carolina's other blonde bimbo friend? She's free and looks like she could use company," Bella suggested.

"Ah, Bells. You know I prefer brunettes." He grasped her hair, wrapped it around his right hand and tugged lightly before letting it cascade down her back. Bella wondered briefly if that were something a brother would do to a sister.

Jared chugged his beer and got up, flipping his cell phone shut. "Booty call! Gotta go."

"I don't think it counts as a booty call when it's your wife, Jar."

"Hey, gotta keep things interesting, right? I just hope she blows me. It would be nice to just lay back and get serviced for once." He patted his stomach and threw his head back in a mock moan.

"Ten bucks says she falls asleep while you eat her pussy," Seth jeered.

Jared smacked the back of his head. "Don't put bets on my wife, asshole." He looked around conspiratorially before leaning in to whisper: "But if I was to bet, I'd put twenty on the blow job. I tried that tantric thing with her last week and I made her come a gazillion times. She owes me." He wiggled his eyebrows.

Bella shook her head, disgusted. "You're a pig. Get out of here. Say hi to Kim."

He slapped a twenty on the table and strolled out the door as Jake took his seat. "So what's going on, Em? Haven't seen you in awhile; you've bailed on ball for the last two weeks! The grind really gettin' you down?"

"Shit man, you have no idea." Embry took a sip of his beer. "I have a new client that's been riding my ass non-stop for the past few weeks. Some rich, pompous ass from New York, just itching to spend his trust fund on a mac daddy house by the beach. He wants everything: a pool, a garden, a sauna, a fucking _screening_ room, man! The guy's insane! I've been showing him houses all over the city for three fucking weeks, he's calling me at all hours of the night and his list of 'must-haves' keeps growing. He's a real prick, to boot. I mean, I've busted my ass getting him appointments to view the hottest properties before they're even listed to the public. He walks in, looks around for barely ten seconds, then walks out the door, waving his fucking hand like he's fucking _dismissing_ me, says 'Nope. Next.' Then cruises off in his fucking Aston Martin." He sighed angrily and took another swig of beer.

"Sounds like a piece of work. What does he do?" Bella asked.

"Absolutely dick-all. His dad's the Chief Surgeon at a big research hospital in Boston. Big bucks. I'm telling you man, money is the root of all evil. This guy, he's evil. I know it. I can see it in his evil green eyes. He's a ladies man, too. I bet he could even give you a run for your money, Jake."

"Bullshit! I own this town, Em, and all the bitches and ho's in it. This guy can take his daddy's money and fuck himself." Jake's eyes twinkled. "Hey! Maybe you should hook him up with Bells! I'd love to see who'd get out of _that_ blind date alive." He nudged her playfully.

"I'll give that a 'hell, no'," Bella responded, deadpanned. "I have enough arrogant sons of bitches in my life." She smiled. "And I mean that in the most loving way."

"Besides," Seth piped up, "Bells is leaning towards the pussy now, anyway!"

Jake raised his eyebrows. "Hey, can I get in on that action?"

Bella punched him playfully and tried to hide her mild embarrassment even though she knew the pink blush rising in her cheeks gave her away. She didn't know if she was blushing at the thought of some girl-on-girl action, or at the thought of Jake being a part of it. Of course she got curious about girls. Women were beautiful, sensitive, and eager to please. Men were bored, ravenous and easy to please. Being with someone attentive would be a refreshing change. Her thoughts were interrupted by the sound of Jake's voice pulling her out of her lesbian fantasies.

"Bells," he gestured to a tall, handsome man that had made his way to the table from the bar, "this is my colleague and the new manager of this place, Jasper Whitlock. Jazz, this is my best friend and possible future fuck buddy, Isabella Swan." If Bella wasn't already a shade of pink from her lady-musings a second earlier, she was now definitely glowing like a red police siren.

"A pleasure, Miss Swan," he drawled in a sweet Southern accent. He smiled genuinely and ran his fingers through his soft blonde locks. His eyes were a deep shade of blue and Bella thought about the ocean, which led her to think about the beach, which led her to think about sex on the beach and in the ocean, which led her to feel an extremely uncomfortable heat in her face and somewhere between her legs. "Do you work with Jake and Sam at Quileute?" Jasper asked, seemingly oblivious to the strange reactions her sex-deprived body was eliciting.

"Actually, Bells is the Ed-in-Chief of the Examiner. She's the real bigshot around here," Jake said, proudly thumping Bella on the back.

"_Acting_ Editor-in-Chief," Bella clarified. "I'm just a Senior Editor covering for a two-year sabbatical."

Jasper raised his eyebrows appreciatively. "Beautiful, intelligent _and_ modest. What are you doing in the company of a guy like Jake here?"

Bella laughed. "He boosts my self-esteem." Her eyebrows knitted together as she considered what that sounded like in light of Jake's earlier comment. "Outside of the bedroom, I mean. I mean, the fuck buddy thing, it's not true. We're just friends," she stuttered, kicking herself under the table and silently saying goodbye to the long, sex-filled future she had already imagined with the sexy blue-eyed man. She stared daggers at Jake, which would have probably been more effective had her face not resembled the likes of a chili pepper.

"Bells is too good for my lowly, playboy ass," Jake said. "But don't think she's a _nice_ girl. Tough as nails, borderline bitch, even." He chuckled.

"Stop talking about me like I'm not here, asshole." She needed to get out. She picked up her purse and considered taking out a twenty for her drinks but decided otherwise. "Thanks for treating, Jake." _Fucker. Next time I'm sticking you with a bottle of Cristal._ "Jasper, it was really nice to meet you. I'm going home to stuff my ears with earplugs and take a Zoloft so I don't have to hear the fake screams of whichever cheap skank Jake spins his wheel on tonight." She extended her hand and Jasper grasped it firmly. His fingers were long and warm and soft and she wanted him to trail them up arm, over her shoulders, down her chest, under her breast…

"I hope to see you again, Miss Swan." His blue eyes pierced hers. He didn't let go of her hand.

_Get a hold of yourself. _"Please, call me Bella. When we meet again, lose Black; he cramps my style." She pulled her hand away and grabbed her jacket.

Laughing, he tipped two fingers in a salute and winked one beautiful blue eye. Bella felt the tingling strengthen in her nether regions as she turned away and climbed into a cab. The girl fantasies could wait. Tonight her thoughts would be all man, with blonde curls, warm hands and ocean colored eyes.


	3. Prologue to Getting Laid

**Disclaimer:** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Prologue to Getting Laid**

The next time Bella saw Jasper, she was sober, walking straight, and feeling completely heterosexual.

It was Wednesday afternoon and her voice was hoarse from yelling at editors, chasing down writers, and frantically trying to meet publishing deadlines – a typical day at the office. She could have sent her assistant for a caffeine run, but she needed a quick break from the madness and a moment to regroup. She took her time walking down the block to the coffee shop as she gathered her thoughts.

"To what do I owe this pleasure?" A soft, accented voice purred behind her as she poured a packet of sugar into her coffee.

Bella knew that voice. It had been sporadically present in her dreams for the past five nights. It was usually accompanied by strong kneading hands, heavy-lidded blue eyes, rhythmic pelvic thrusts…

Ah, the life of a celibate. She wondered if it was time to cave and finally invest in a dildo, but the idea of Jake finding it was too mortifying to push her over the edge.

She turned slowly, unable to keep the smile off her face. "Mr. Whitlock. The pleasure is _all_ mine." She extended her hand, feeling moisture pool between her legs when he took it with both hands and clasped it between them. _Geez, could_ _you sound more like a slut?_ She tried to wipe the lusty grin off her face, but the sight of his sapphire blue eyes conjured up visions of beach and surf, and blonde, sand-ridden hair, and large, strong hands, gripping her ass and pulling her over him again and again and…

"Bella? Are you okay?" The voice in her daydream stopped moaning her name and was now sounding concerned.

Bella blinked, sorely disappointed that her favorite beach fantasy had been interrupted, then becoming increasingly mortified as she realized she had inadvertently threaded her fingers through his right hand.

"Oh God, I'm so sorry! Long night, and I haven't had my caffeine fix. Um, could you pass me the skim milk?" She tried to laugh off the horror as she gently pulled her hand away. She wondered if it would be inappropriate to say 'Sorry, long year and I haven't had my sex fix, could you pass me your big cock?'

He smiled. "Of course." He reached over the counter and picked up the jug. "How has your week been so far?

She groaned. "Not bad, but today has been a complete nightmare. Hence," she motioned to her venti cup, "the oversized, seventh cup of coffee."

"You're an addict!" He laughed. "You do look a little jittery." His eyes swept over her body.

Bella felt the heat rising in her cheeks and the tingling sensation growing between her legs. _Good lord. I need to get laid. I need to get a grip! He's just a boy, he's just a boy, he's just a boy. _These reactions were not normal for her. She would definitely have to rethink the dildo situation.

"You also look like you haven't had anything to eat." _I also haven't had any SEX!_ "Do you want to grab a bite? I haven't had lunch yet, either."

Her lip jutted out apologetically. She would have really wanted something to eat. Or something to fuck. But she could feel her phone vibrating in her purse with at least a dozen messages regarding the story that was three hours past its deadline. She needed to get back to the office. "I'm so sorry, Jasper. I've got a million people to chase after and a publisher breathing down my back today. But," she bit her lip shyly, "can I take you up on that offer sometime soon?" She wasn't used to asking guys out. Especially guys that made her panties wet with barely a glance.

"Hmm." He eyed her thoughtfully. "How about this weekend? Is that too soon?"

"No, not at all! That would be great!" _Way to look desperate, Swan. _She was doing a lot of internal chastising lately. "I mean, I have plans for Saturday, but if Friday works for you…" There. At least it didn't look like she was a sad schmuck with absolutely no plans for the weekend. In the back of her mind she wondered why she cared what this guy thought of her and how she spent her weekend. But she couldn't conjure up answers because at the front of her mind, some little voice was chanting _sex, sex, sex, sex…_

"Perfect. I'll call you tomorrow and we'll make plans."

They exchanged phone numbers before parting and Bella's day had just gotten infinitely better.

-------

Since Jake had been away since Tuesday, Bella hadn't spoken to him about going out with Jasper and she was mildly nervous about telling him that she was interested in one of his employees. The anxiety only grew as Friday evening approached.

She was putting on her lipstick when she heard the front door open and Jacob barge in yelling, "Honey! I'm hoooome!" With a deep breath, she smoothed her hands over the front of her dress and left her room to see him.

"Hey, Jake. How was the conference?"

His jaw dropped at the sight of her. "Holy _shit_, Bells! You are smokin'!" He eyed her one-shoulder sea green dress approvingly. "This is the best welcome home present ever! I take it you've reconsidered my offer, huh?" He winked.

"Stop looking at me like I'm a piece of meat, dickhead." She put her hands on her hips and glared at him pointedly. "I'm going on a date." Admittedly, this was not the way she had planned to talk to him about Jasper, but his barbaric gaze changed her mind. She paused, amused by his appalled expression.

"Dressed like _that?_"

"Who are you, my mother?"

"Must be someone special."

Bella shrugged nonchalantly. "Not really."

"Well?" He crossed his arms. "Who is it?"

She busied herself adjusting her right sleeve. "I ran into Jasper a couple of days ago -"

"WHAT?!"

"Oh come on, Jake –"

"You're dating _Jasper_? My employee? You're kidding me. Of all fucking people –"

"Don't talk about him like his just another fucking subordinate – "

"He IS a fucking subordinate – "

"You're a prick."

"He's my _employee!"_

"It's none of your fucking business!"

"Actually, it IS my fucking business, he works for _my _company –"

"Fuck off, Jake." She grabbed her jacket and clutch and headed for the door.

"Bells. Wait." Jake looked at the floor, clenching and unclenching his fists.

Bella was used to this. Although they were best friends, she and Jake fought more than anybody she knew. It was their 'thing'; they both prided themselves in a friendship that held no boundaries. Neither of them feared the other's opinion and there was constant bickering and frequent blow-ups because of it. But it worked for Bella. She knew that each time Jake blew up, it would be the last she'd hear of it; he didn't hold grudges and didn't harbor bad feelings. He just put it out there and let it go. But she was too stubborn to ever let him have the last word.

"I'm sorry, Bells," he finally looked up at her. "I overreacted. It was stupid."

She hated his perfected puppy dog eyes and she sighed. "_You're_ stupid."

"Mature, Bells."

"Does this seriously bother you?"

He thought for a moment, mirroring the way she gnawed on her bottom lip. "I don't know. He _is_ one of my employees, you know. It's just…weird."

"Jake, you never even see him. He's the manager of one of your bars, you're not even his direct boss."

"Yeah, I know. It's just," he paused, contemplating his next words, "don't you think you could do better than just a bar manager?" He regretted saying it as soon as he did and braced himself for the inevitable onslaught.

"_Just a bar manager?_" She cried. "And what exactly were _you_ only four years ago? Weren't you _just a bar manager_? And as I recall you were pretty damn proud of it, flaunting your bar-manager-whore-ass all over town, picking up girls and telling them you can get them into the hottest clubs, and using it to get VIP at every club in the state. It was the sole reason you got pussy for two years, and who knows what the fuck else you used your 'bar manager' status to whore yourself out for. You are a hypocritical shit, Jacob Black, you know that?"

"Okay, okay, you're right." It was easier to appease her than argue. He held his hands up in surrender and tried to calm her down with some light teasing. "He just doesn't seem your type, is all. I mean, the guy's got curly locks! And I swear to god his accent is a total scam. He sounds like he should be in a saloon singing 'It Ain' Nothin' To Me'," he crooned in his best Tom Petty.

"He's from Texas, you knob. That accent is more authentic than your hard-on after six beers and a blue pill. And I _like_ his soft, curly locks." At least, she_ thought_ they were soft. They were always soft in her fantasies…

"How do you know his locks are soft?" Of course Jake caught that.

She quickly changed the subject. "We're trying out that new restaurant by the Wharf, the one Angela reviewed for the paper. Can you believe we got reservations? His cousin's the head chef!"

"Hm. So the kid's got connections. He can't be so bad if he's related to Peter Benito."

"'Kid'? Please," Bella snorted, "he's at least my age which puts him older than you." She was relieved that the curly locks topic had been avoided. Jake had caught Bella talking in her sleep during a sex dream when they first moved in together and he had never let her live it down. What made it worse was that her sleep-talking episodes seemed to revolve around the subject of her fantasy's hair; she was often heard moaning one thing or another about the sight, smell, or texture of her fantasy lover's coif. If Jake made the connection between her small slip about Jasper and her infamous nighttime chatter, she would never hear the end of it.

"God, he's ancient," he joked. "So, his place or your place?"

"Don't make me out to be a whore, dickface. He has tickets to _Il Trovatori_ after dinner."

Jake burst into laughter. "You hate the opera!"

"What the hell are you talking about? I've never said that!"

"You must really need to get laid," he laughed harder, tears forming in the corners of his eyes.

"Fuck you, Jake," she snapped.

"Sorry, Bells. Offer expired," he quipped, wiping his eyes as the front door buzzer rang.

Bella took one last glance at her reflection in the hall mirror before opening the door. "There's no way I'm letting him up here and anywhere near you." She stepped out and hit the lift button.

"Have fun, Bells! I hope you have a good time with the soft, curly locks."

She fingered him as the elevator doors closed.


	4. Blue

**Disclaimer:** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Blue**

By the time Bella met Jasper at the front entrance to her apartment building, she had pushed the argument with Jake out of her mind and resolved to focus only on the sweet, Southern gentleman patiently waiting for her at the door. She noticed his appreciative look as his eyes momentarily swept over her skin-tight dress but his gaze rested comfortably on hers as he greeted her.

"Ms. Swan." He lifted her hand and kissed it softly. A gentleman, indeed.

"Am I supposed to refer to you as Mr. Whitlock for the rest of the night?" Bella teased.

"If you wish, darlin'." He winked.

Her legs turned to jelly and she quickly stepped into the sleek black car as he held the door open in his gentlemanly fashion. Sliding into the driver's seat, he flipped on the stereo and the voice of a smooth tenor filled the car. It was pleasant, but Bella winced slightly as a mezzo-soprano joined in. It wasn't that she didn't appreciate the beauty of opera, but it wasn't her music of choice. She knew one or two composers and a couple of singers thanks to her mother's 'I-need-to-be-more-cultural' stage when Bella was in high school. That particular short-lived obsession resulted in Bella's exposure to the opera, various museums and small plays. The experiences opened Bella's mind to a world of artistry she never new existed, but Renee had bored of it quickly.

Jasper smiled at her. "You like Bartoli?"

"Not really, to tell you the truth. I never did take to the mezzo's. But I do like Pavarotti."

"I'm impressed."

"I'm surprised you actually like the opera. Shouldn't Southern boys like you be into Garth Brooks or something?"

He chuckled. "You've stereotyped me already, sugar? Well, shouldn't Northwesterners like you be into Pearl Jam or something?"

"Are you seriously dissing Pearl Jam?" She clutched her heart theatrically.

They continued their playful banter and discussion of music as they reached the restaurant. Jasper greeted the hostess with a kiss on the cheek and Bella noticed the girl blush considerably as she led them to their table. "Pete's running around like a headless chicken 'cause they ran out of halibut. I'll let him know you're here when he stops yelling at the kitchen staff," she promised with a shameless wink.

"Thanks, Maria," Jasper nodded. He pulled out Bella's chair and rounded the table to his own after she sat. Maria stood smiling for a moment before realizing Jasper was no longer paying attention to her. She shot Bella a strange accusatory look and sauntered away.

Bella raised her eyebrows for a moment and attempted to roll her eyes furtively, but Jasper caught her look and chuckled. "She does that to anyone that comes in with me, even my mother. Don't worry, she's harmless."

_Way to look like a jealous bitch, Swan._ "She definitely looks like she has a thing for you, but who wouldn't?" She smiled coyly.

He reached across the table and tucked a stray hair behind her ear. "You are sweet, you know that?"

His touch sent shivers through her body and she looked down at her menu to try and hide her increasingly pink cheeks. "So, what's good here?"

They shared a bottle of wine and chatted over the best seafood meal Bella had ever tasted. Their ensuing discussion about sustainable seafood allowed Bella insight to an interesting, passionate side of Jasper and she couldn't help but comment in surprise. "I would have never thought you to be an environmentalist!"

He laughed. "There are many things you don't know about me, Miss Swan." He grinned mysteriously and Bella started to wonder if the hot flashes she was experiencing were normal. "I'm no tree-hugger, but I think we should do what we can. It's always the simplest things that make the difference. Now tell me something about yourself that I would surprise _me_."

"Hmm," she said thoughtfully. "Well, I don't use it much, but I'm a black belt in karate."

Jasper roared with laughter. "Oh, darlin', that doesn't surprise me at all! You're a teeny thing, but I can tell that you're feisty, right off the bat."

"Oh, really?" Bella batted her eyelashes. "And what makes you think that?"

Before Jasper could answer, an angry screech rose from behind her.

"I hate you! You asshole! You take me back, Edward Cullen. You better fucking take me back!" a shrill voice cut through the mellow atmosphere.

Bella turned along with every other person in the restaurant to see what the commotion was. She saw the most beautiful two people she had ever seen sitting in a corner booth only ten feet away. The blonde woman looked like she had stepped off a runway: her hair was swept up in a sleek bun and she wore a stunning red, low-cut dress that was starting to match the color of her flushed skin. But it was the man that took Bella's breath away. He was almost shaking with unbearably sexy rage, his reddish-brown hair disheveled and his green eyes boring through the blonde's bright blue ones.

He loosened his tie in agitation and took a deep breath. "Don't fucking tell me what to do, Tanya," he growled, his emerald eyes shooting daggers at beautiful woman.

"You're an asshole! You're a liar!"

He didn't answer. Bella noticed he was clenching and unclenching his fists in Jake's familiar way. After a moment, he seemed to get a grip on his self-control and he stood up abruptly, slammed a wad of cash on the table and headed for the door.

As he passed her table, Bella locked eyes with him for what felt like an eternity before he stormed out of the restaurant, nearly bowling over the hostess.

The maniacal blonde started screaming, "Don't you fucking walk away from me! Fuck you! I don't need you…" before the restaurant staff swarmed her table and escorted her out the door as she shrieked obscenities at the staff and the beautiful bronze-haired man. Bella turned back to Jasper, her eyes wide. "Wow. That was…interesting."

Jasper shrugged. "It's not out of the ordinary. That fella's got quite the reputation around here."

"He must be an asshole." _Shame_, Bella thought.

"That's the word on the street." He poured her another glass of wine. "Anyway, where were we?"

They continued their shameless flirting through dessert and Bella was becoming giddy from the wine. She chugged down a couple of glasses of water when Jasper excused himself to the bathroom. She wouldn't have minded being a little buzzed for the opera, but she wanted to be in tip-top shape for whatever might happen after.

She argued with him about the bill, but he insisted on paying. On the way out the door, a tall, lanky man with deep-set wild eyes, caught Jasper's shoulder and patted his back warmly. "Sorry to catch you so late, Jazz! It's pandemonium in there!"

Jasper introduced them. "Bella, this my cousin, Crazy Pete. He is the master chef of your meal tonight."

They chatted for a bit before the wild-eyed chef flew back to the kitchen in haste and Jasper and Bella climbed into his waiting car at the valet.

The opera was more enjoyable than Bella remembered and she noted her surprise to Jasper as they made their way home. "That wasn't so bad!"

He laughed. "I thought you liked the opera?"

"It's not my favorite thing in the world, but I'd forgotten how beautiful it is." She bit her lip as he reached over the centre console and threaded his fingers through hers.

"I'm glad you enjoyed it." His voice was husky but he didn't look at her until he pulled up in front of her building. Bella prayed to all the gods that she could think of that Jake would have decided to stay out for the night.

Jasper opened the door and held his hand out for her. Always the gentleman.

"Thank you, Jasper. I really enjoyed myself." She stopped as they got to the front door and she gazed up at him.

He held her gaze as he ran a rough finger gently over her full bottom lip. Her tongue darted out instinctively and as it flicked across the pad of his finger he pressed his body into her and wound his fingers around her neck. He seemed to hesitate as he lowered his head, but Bella couldn't wait and she pulled him down hard against her lips. His mouth was soft and wet and sweet and she moaned, running her fingers through his thick hair, realizing it was softer than she imagined in all her craziest dreams. His hands ran up and down her side, grasping the curve of her hip and pulling her in to mold his body against hers. She could feel his erection pressing into her navel as his fingers trailed back up, stopping under her arm, his thumb lightly caressing the soft underside of her breast through her thin dress. Her breath hitched and she pulled him in deeper, her tongue exploring his mouth, running over his teeth, sucking his bottom lip. She could fuck him right here on the doorstep. The street was dark and empty. She could fuck him right here…

He pulled away gently, placing soft kisses on her swollen lips, along her jaw line, down the side of her neck, along her bare arm, until he reached her hand, where he bowed slightly and pressed his lips lightly against her knuckles. He let her hand drop to her side and stepped back.

"Goodnight, Miss Swan."

_Fucking hell._

-------

The next four times Bella went out with Jasper ended more or less the same way. He never brought her back to his place and she crossed her fingers each night that he would stop acting like a prude and take her against the front door of her apartment.

There had been a glimmer of hope when she nearly attacked him the car on their third date, climbing over his lap in the driver's seat after he parked in front of her building. He had responded to her hungry kisses passionately, and she could feel his arousal as she pressed her aching sex against him. His hands had cupped her ass and he ground himself into her and she swore she heard him grunt with desire. But before she knew what was happening, he had carried her out of the car, untangled her legs from around him, and left her at the doorstep, but not before he placed his stupid, signature-gentlemanly kiss on her hand.

Each day, she was struggling with the seemingly teenage frustration that she was never going to get past second base and she would have to rely on a vibrator to get her off for the rest of her life.

The morning after the fifth time she'd been proverbially blue-balled, Bella woke up to Jake dancing around half-naked in her room to Miley Cyrus on the radio, nodding his head and shaking his hips to her lyrics. She groaned. "Get the fuck out, Jake." She pulled the covers over her eyes.

"You still have that condom in your purse, Tinker Bells. I take it Mr. Texas cock-blocked you. Again." He hopped onto her bed and threw his arms around her.

"Fuck off."

"Oh come on, Bells. He's a perfect Southern gent, remember? You can't really fault him for not fucking you right away. Even if you do throw yourself at him like a hussy."

He was a dick, but he had a point. She threw her covers back and snuggled into Jake's warm chest. "So you don't think it's because he doesn't find me attractive?" She asked hopefully.

"Hell no! Did you see yourself in the mirror last night? You were a walking sex bomb. I swear I even saw him get wood when he set eyes on you. There's no way he didn't want to stick it in ya."

"Dammit. I _asked_ you if I looked like a slut! No wonder he won't fuck me. I dress like a slut, I act like a slut…what the hell is wrong with me?" She buried her face in her hands.

Jake laughed and tickled her. "Stop being so emo, Bells! You are a beautiful, _classy_ 28-year-old woman that lots of guys _respect_ but still want to fuck. He's just playing hard to get; gotta keep 'em wanting more, you know! Now are you going to get up and make me some breakfast, classy girl?"

She smacked his arm and he pretended to be hurt by clutching it in mock pain. She turned over to stare at the ceiling when she heard a female voice humming along to the radio.

"What the – Jake, did you hear that?"

"Oh yeah, that's Betty. Or Bonnie. No, I'm pretty sure it's Betty." Bella stared at him in horror. "Don't worry, Bells. She's just leaving."

"UGH!" She pushed him off her bed and he fell to the floor with a thud. "Get the fuck out of my room and get your fucking slut out of my house!" She jumped out of bed, and shivered disgustedly at the thought of Jake's recently sexed body on her sheets. "And wash my fucking sheets!" She yelled after him as he scampered out her door.

After showering and getting dressed, Bella was still angry with Jake and refused to make him breakfast, so he suggested they take the Rabbit to the Wharf and grab an early lunch of fish and chips. He had three other cars, each more expensive than the last, but he knew that Bella loved riding in the Rabbit. It was the first car he ever built, and she had helped him put it together when they were teenagers. She loved the thing like a child, even though she was scared to death to drive it because it rattled so much.

As they walked up the boardwalk, Jake spotted Embry walking towards the parking lot looking agitated. "What's up Em! Where are you coming from?"

"Hey J, hey Bells." Embry slapped Jake's hand in a quick shake and threw an arm around Bella. "Man, I am having a hell of a day. I could use a drink."

"Green-eyed man turning you into an alcoholic, Em? It's 11 o'clock in the morning."

Embry sighed wearily. "He's wearing me thin, that's for hell sure. I have another appointment with him in an hour. You guys heading to Moby Dick's?"

"Yeah, come with and take a load off," Bella offered, pulling him towards the small restaurant. "I haven't had their tartar in so long."

Since Bella ordered the halibut, she had to wait a bit longer so she waved the boys away to find a table on the crowded boardwalk. Her mouth was watering as she picked up her order and made her way to the condiments. She reached for the tartar and squirted a huge amount on her plate.

"Whoa, leave some for the rest of us." She turned to see a handsome, dimpled face smiling at her playfully.

She couldn't help but blush, whether it was at the ridiculous amount of tartar sauce on her plate or the towering, grinning man in front of her, she didn't know. "Tartar is my weakness," she confessed. "I like to indulge every once in awhile." She was seriously starting to question the promiscuous connotations coming out of her mouth these days.

The man laughed and Bella almost jumped at the sheer volume and vibration that seemed to emanate from his chest. "Good. A pretty girl like you should definitely be indulgent every now and then." His eyes twinkled mischievously. He squirted a small amount on his plate. "Me, I'm a vinegar man," he said, as he poured vinegar all over his fries. The pungent smell made Bella's mouth salivate. Or maybe it was the sight of his heavily muscled arms straining against his tee shirt as he reached for the ketchup.

"You like variety, I see," Bella teased back. _What has gotten into me?_ This was definitely not normal. She was throwing herself all over Jasper one day, and flirting shamelessly with a stranger the next. Jake was definitely getting to her.

"The spice of life," he quipped. "Say, have you ever tried Joe's at Half Moon Bay?"

Bella shook her head. "Never even heard of it."

"Oh my god, woman! You can't be a tartar connoisseur without knowing the Tartar at Joe's. Best. Tartar. Ever. Hands down."

"Damn, I feel like I've been shown up, and by a Vinegar Man, at that."

"You have been, sweetheart! I know it's quite a blow to the ego," he teased, "so perhaps you can regain your Tartar Queen title by coming with me and seeing if it lives up to your standards. It's been too long since I've been to Joe's."

Bella couldn't help but laugh. "Well, I never claimed to be a 'Tartar Queen', but I am curious about this Joe's place…" she trailed off. Was she really accepting a proposition from a stranger whose name she didn't even know?

"Excellent! It's a date, then. But hey, I don't even know your name? Or shall I just refer to you as the Tartar Queen?" His grin was infectious, even though his jokes were lame. Bella's face was starting to hurt from all the smiling but she couldn't help herself. He was so damn cute.

"I'm Bella. Bella Swan." She held her hand out and took it into his giant bear paws.

"Great to meet you, Bella-Bella-Swan. I'm Emmett McCarty."

"Well, Emmett McCarty, I don't think I could stomach another meal of fish and chips for at least a few days – "

"You're not a native San Franciscan, are you?" He queried. She shook her head. "Not a problem. I'll just have to wean you into the Bay Area lifestyle."

Bella wasn't sure she wanted to be weaned into eating greasy fish and chips on a daily basis, but it didn't matter if it implied she could spend a day with this guy. He was _huge_, well over six feet, and in very, _very_ good shape. The outline of his muscles was apparent through his tee shirt and her sex-deprived mind had already undressed him and fucked his big brawny brains out about seven times by the time they parted ways.

They exchanged numbers before he shook her hand very enthusiastically and waved at her as she walked back to Jake and Embry with a little spring in her step.


End file.
